finding nemo

Eight Verses for Training the Mind

With the heartfelt desire and determination to attain enlightenment
For the welfare of all living beings, who are more precious than a
Wish-fulfilling jewel for accomplishing the supreme goal,
May I always cherish them and hold them dear.

Whenever I am with others
May I think of myself as the lowest of all
And from the very depths of my heart
May I respectfully hold others as supreme.

In all actions, may I closely examine my state of mind,
And the mment a disturbing emotion or negative attiude arises,
Since this may cause harm to myself and others,
May I firmly face and avert it.

Whenever I meet people of unpleasant character,
Or those overwhelmed by negativity, pain or suffering,
May I cherish and care for them as if I had found
A rare and precious treasure difficult to find.

Whenever others, because of their jealousy, treat me badly
With abuse, insult, slander, or in other unjust ways,
May I accept this defeat myself
And offer the victory to others.

When someone whom I have benefited
Or in whom I have placed great trust and hope,
Harms me or treats me in hurtful ways without reason,
May I see that person as my precious teacher.

In brief, may I offer both directly and indirectly all help,
Happiness and benefit to all beings, my mothers,
And may I secretly take upon myself
All of their harmful actions, pain and suffering.

May I keep all of these practices undefiled by stains of the eight worldly
Concerns (gain-loss, pleasure-pain, praise-blame, fame-dishonor),
And by recognizing the emptiness and illusory nature of all existing things,
May I be liberated frm the bondage of attachment and mistaken views of reality.

-Geshe Langri Tangpa (1054-1123)
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Yes. some of these (particularly two, five and seven) were really hard to swallow. my ego violently screamed "wahhhh!!!! i don't want to have to humble myself down for no one! i don't want to accept no body else's defeat in order to give them victory!! what about me?!!"

yes. yes. i am working myself out of my attachment to seperation from other folks. on different layers i know that we're all one, that we're all reflected manifestations of the same divinity and at the same time i want my damn individuality!! yes. this is my ego clawing at its own sense of importance and existance. i will transcend. but when i see myself as different and seperate from others, my little/big ego plumps up on ideas of its own granduer.

and so i learn that the trickery of my ego is just that. i am no more important than anyone else. thinking of myself as the lowest of them all is still a difficult rock to swallow. i am not gung ho about it but i know that i'm just digging in my heels in attempt to maintain my own sense of identity. the self that i created as seperate from the self that i really am.

oh me. oh my!

it's coming. it is. i am learning to surrender.

always love,

me